Stay Together for the Kids

My parents got a divorce when I was about 12 years old. I remember my sister trying to talk to me about it. She said when she was my age (she's 12 years older than me) no one's parents got divorced, and if they did, they sure didn't talk about it.

For me, divorce seemed like the normal progression in family dynamics. It wasn't like everyone's parents were getting divorced, but I knew of a few kids who's parents did. So it seemed inevitable. It really didn't bother me, in the beginning anyway.

Divorce is certainly on the rise. Out of all my friends, I can only think of a couple whose parents are still together.

I think that's pretty sad.

Over the past couple of years I've watched a few of my friends walk down the isle. We are the same age now as our parents were when they got married, so it shouldn't feel so weird. I helped one of my best friends put on her wedding dress and fix her makeup last summer, and it felt like we were playing dress up.

My boyfriend talks about how strange it is that a bunch of guys he knows, who are in marriages, are getting divorces.

It isn't strange at all.

We get married too young, before we really know what's going on and who we are supposed to be, and when we figure out that the relationship just isn't working out, that we're headed on different paths, turning into different people, we just give up.

It seems like we don't try as hard or as long to work on marriage as our parents did. Most of the time we get divorced early enough that there aren't any kids involved, and we're young enough that we can still find a new significant other fairly quickly. It's just more convenient to get a divorce early on rather than try to fix things.

It's really very poignant that all of this makes sense.


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