Valuable Lessons Learned Outside the Classroom

Okay, so I feel like I should go ahead and post this story since it's a pretty crazy one, crazy for me anyway.
At 10 p.m. last Thursday night, Shelley and I went over to a bar to hang out for a bit. I had class the next morning, so I wasn't planning on drinking that much.
By 2 a.m. Friday morning, we had managed to guzzle down three and a half pitchers of beer.
After we figured out that there was no way we were going to finish that fourth pitcher before the bartenders kicked us out, we decided to go back to her place and drink there.
But first we needed to stock up on cigarettes.
We arrived at Quick Trip and slid out of her car. I went in to get cigarettes, and a few minutes later Shelley came in and told me her keys, wallet and phone were locked in the car.
We went outside and thought about what we should do.
We saw a cop sitting in his car nearby, and Shelley got the bright idea to ask him for help. He said no, that they weren't allowed to unlock cars anymore, and he didn't have the equipment on him anyway.
I should go ahead and mention that her car unlocks every twenty minutes. I'm not really sure why.
So, Shelley came back over to where I was standing and we thought some more. About five minutes later another cop pulled into the parking lot and the two cops were chatting.
Shelley noticed the second cop and decided to ask him to help her get the car unlocked. I told her it wasn't such a good idea, but she did it anyway.
I stood on the curb, trying to look as sober as possible, while Shelley talked to the cops for a really long time.
Eventually Cop No. 1 got upset and was yelling at her, telling her that she was lying to him about only having one beer to drink.
I walked over to see if I could help smooth things over, and the cop told Shelley to sit on the curb.
At that point I was pretty freaked out, seeing how I'd never been in that kind of situation.
The cop asked me how much I'd had to drink and, after thinking about the best way to answer that question, I think what I said was, "five beers in the past two hours."
He told me that my friend was too drunk to drive and he thought I'd had too much to drink as well. Then he said that if either of us got in the car he would arrest us. He was actually yelling all of this at me, while I tried to be as polite as possible.
I told him I would call someone to come get us.
He and the other cop drove away, and shortly after that Shelley's car unlocked. She grabbed her keys and phone, and I tried to figure out who to call to come get us.
By then it was at least 3 a.m. I called Zach, the only person I knew of that would be up at that hour. He was at Subway and was very drunk, but he said he'd come get us anyway. Once he got to Quick Trip, Shelley had her mind made up that she was going to drive her car home. Zach and I told her that was a really stupid idea, but she didn't care. So Zach and I got in his car, Shelley in hers, and we drove around the corner to her apartment.
And we all somehow got there without being pulled over.
I ended up going to bed at 4:30 a.m Friday morning, missed my class, and woke up at 12:30 p.m. when the editor called to find out why I wasn't at work.
Moral of the story: don't ever ask a cop to unlock your car. Especially after drinking three and a half pitchers of beer.


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