Sidetracked



Treading water. Sometimes with the brick.

So, I've started my first day of the internship. So far, not bad. I have gone from being a big fish to a sea monkey though. I've gotten quite accustomed to wielding my power, what little power I have, on campus. I'll call people up for interviews and if they don't know who I am, they have some idea who I work with and what I want, and we go from here.
Going down the list of phone numbers of people who were crime victims brings back memories, not so good memories, from working for a fundraising group on campus a couple of years ago. I had to call up alumni and ask for donations to their college. Most of them weren't too thrilled to speak with me, and I had nightmares for months after I quit.
I'm not saying this is bad. It's just going to take a little getting used to.
I've never been the hit-the-ground-running person that I know I should be.
While on the phone with my mom last night, discussing my anxiety over the internship, worried that everyone is eventually going to figure out that I suck, she reminded me of my first job.
I trained rigorously to be a lifeguard in high school. I knew that was the job for me, having spent seven years on swim teams. Soon after starting my job, a little kid was taking a swim test so I could find out if he was capable of swimming in the deep end. Halfway across the pool panic washed over his face and he started spinning around, trying to figure out how to get back to the wall before he drowned. As I stood there watching him, I thought about how someone should do something to help him. Then I realized that was my job.
It all ended up okay in the end. Although, he did attempt to take that deep end test several more times, and after failing each time I finally got tired of jumping in after him and made him spend the rest of the summer bobbing around in the shallow end.
Beside the point. What was my point?
Oh yeah, this is going to work.

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