Sidetracked



I’m actually living out of a duffle bag right now.

I've been living out of a duffel bag for the past 10 years. Of course this is an exaggeration, but it isn't far from the truth.
About 10 years ago my parents divorced. After that, every other weekend was designated a "dad weekend," every other holiday a "dad holiday," and one month out of the summer was "dad month," if I remember correctly. So, as a kid, I did a lot of packing and unpacking. The first few weekends at Dad's I unpacked my stuff and put it into drawers or on hangers. I quickly learned that this was a waste of time since I'd be going back to Mom's in less than 48 hours.

In junior high and high school I was on swim team and played in the orchestra. This meant lots of days were spent at swim meets with a bag full of towels, sunscreen, goggles, caps, and snacks; and the occasional trips for UIL, Solo and Ensemble and other contests for orchestra.

After graduating from high school, I moved to Denton for college. My first year, or maybe the first semester, I was homesick and a little lost so I'd trek back down south as much as possible until I adjusted to the college life.

I met Dave over two and a half years ago and to take the sting off our kind of long distance relationship (we live about an hour away from each other) I started spending every weekend I could in Dallas.

I have moved six times in the past five years. I have a lovely trunk my mom purchased for me that I keep clothes in during each moving process. Right now it serves as a table for my television and a stack of magazines until it's time for the next move.

The point of all this is to explain that being unsettled is a big part of my life and a big part of me. When I know I'm about to have to pack up my stuff, whether in boxes or a bag, and leave behind a place I've grown accustomed to, I feel very anxious. Moving is stressful and dramatic and expensive. I've never gotten used to moving, but I can't imagine being in one place for the rest of my life either.
Someday, soon I hope, I'll find the place that fits me perfectly, and hopefully I'll be able to stay for a while.

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