Sick of the Pull

My mind spins during the drive home.
Things were said to me. I said things back. I cried. I put my contacts in to see him better while we argued. Maybe I shouldn't have worn them. I should have kept track of how many cigarettes I smoked. I'm exhausted. Dad looked sad. He looked like he wanted to tell me something. I'm trying to be happy. I am happy. What if I jumped out of the car while it was still going?

Everyone would go on without me. I'm tired. What will I spend that Target gift card on? I need caffeine. Thirty more miles. Are holidays always going to be this way? I hate holidays. Daniel is moving soon. He'll be upset that I didn't see him. I'll call him tomorrow. I'll explain. I don't feel like writing. I can't keep posting song lyrics. Most people gain weight over the holidays. I've lost weight. I need to eat. Do they think I'm sick? I'm drained. Deep breath. Deep breath. It's over.

I'm tired.


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