We inched up the interstate spanning Texas, Oklahoma and finally, Kansas. Stop, go, stop, go. Lawrence Pressman narrated Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for us, and I realized it’s the same dude that narrated A Million Little Pieces. How can this be his story? He can’t be the same guy that hit rock bottom and climbed back up with the help of rehab. Or can he? I couldn’t take it anymore. I yanked the CD from the slot only to find we’d been listening to the story out of order. Fuck the fucking Chautauqua.

Thanksgiving was quiet. I ate all of the usual holiday items and supplemented the other meals with coffee. Other families’ dysfunction reminds me of my own, and I missed them. I tried counting my blessings to help lift my spirits, but my mind was drowned in caffeine and the constant twilight feeling that blankets Kansas. Instead, I called everyone to tell them I love them. Some of the calls were well-received and some weren’t.

I really don’t care for holidays. And unlike before, I don’t wish to become a person who loves them. I just do what I can to get through them now, imagining that if I ever end up alone I’ll become a hermit during the winter.

Christmas is just around the corner.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * mike says:

    The chautauqua is important. Maybe it’s a guy thing.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  2. * lauren says:

    what is chautauqua (besides a subdivision in Ruston)?

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  3. * mike says:

    As I understand it, it’s an journey that progresses in stages. Each stage is characterized by a lesson that forms a greater truth. Or something like that.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  4. * ~A says:

    This is has less to do with this and perhaps more to do with – oh, it has nothing to do with anything; it just made me think about Starbucks and then you.

    …I hope I did this right – there’s no “preview” option that I can locate.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  5. * ~A says:

    that sucks.


    click it.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  6. * lauren says:

    hahaha. That’s great ~A

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago

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